Wednesday, 3 April 2013

A Stroll Through the Park

I have walked this path more times than I care to remember. It is so familiar to me that I could sleepwalk through this park, despite the path's very meandering route (following a buried ancient river's course). And that is probably what I have in essence been doing for the past almost two decades - sleepwalking through my life.

But tonight is different. Tonight there is "the stillness of death on her deathly unliving sea... and the motorcar magical world long since ceased to be..." Strains of Jethro Tull are playing in my head. Why do I like those lyrics? They really make no sense and somehow they seem to fit my present surroundings and state of mind. I first heard "Wond'ring Again" when I was eleven years old in Germany and its lyrics come back to me every now and again.

The air is so still and muggy I imagine that this could be the Deep South - Alabama or Mississippi. It is dusk and the sky is turning a very unusual grey-purple... mauve! The canopy of leaves overhead is closing in on me. It is stifling. I imagine a lynching taking place. The sounds of people conversing in the distance, birds chirping, the jingle of a dog's leash as it comes into contact with the metal on the collar, the dog's scurrying paws on the pavement - such excitement! My own feet are deliberately crunching the dried leaves underfoot as I enjoy the sensation that is fall.

The air smells of smoke and there is a kind of languorous quality to all the beings I see. Is it me feeling this way and projecting my mood onto them or do they really feel this way too?

I have never been so acutely aware of all the activity in this park! And yet I am thinking about death. Suddenly, a cool patch of air. Unusual. Just seconds ago, there was only stifling stillness.

"Everyone just goes by and they only see one thing. It's like they are all blind..." a boy tells his mother as they cycle past me.

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